"If any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone. For God hath made all men to enjoy felicity and constancy of good."
It is hard to admit you are the cause of your misery. It is easy to be a victim, to believe you have been wronged. Cursed, violated and downtrodden are all afflictions of the mind. It is even harder to change this perspective once it takes root. The need for pity, the desire for comfort from others is a very addictive thing. The mind begins to yearn for it. When a change occurs there is a withdrawl just as with any drug. The ease with which we want to slip back into old habits is tempting. But with reason as the antidote and the virtues as rails to guide me I can recover my soul.
"A particular train of thought persisted in, be it good or bad, cannot fail to produce its results on the character and circumstances. A man cannot directly choose his circumstances, but he can choose his thoughts, and so indirectly, yet surely, shape his circumstances." James Allen -As a Man Thinketh
Yesterday I lied, I claimed virtue I hadn't earned. My thoughts and judgments led me astray again. This is not failure though, this is not the end of my path to virtue. Today I will take a deep breath this morning and regain my footing. Just like a boxer that gets knocked down I will get back up over and over until the bell sounds. This is how it should be. I will learn from this. I will throw it on the heap of transgressions I already have and use it as an example to myself.