"Who exactly do you want to be? What kind of person do you want to be? What are your personal ideals? Whom do you admire? What are their special traits that you would make your own?
It's time to stop being vague. If you wish to be an extraordinary person, if you wish to be wise, then you should explicitly identify the kind of person you aspire to become. If you have a daybook, write down who you're trying to be, so that you can refer to this self-definition. Precisely describe the demeanor you want to adopt so that you may preserve it when you are by yourself or with other people" - Epictetus
I must construct for myself a model then, a figure who may not even exist and is composed of the parts of many people. From my father his drive to succeed, from my brother his application of learning, from my oldest brother his drive staunch adherence to his values. From my wife I would like her kindness and from my mother her selflessness for her children. A truly mythical person indeed. Teachers, mentors, employers and coworkers would all go into this. I must construct my sage so that they can teach me to be a better person.
"For times when you feel pain: See that it doesn't disgrace you, or degrade your intelligence doesn't keep it from acting rationally or unselfishly. And in most cases what Epicurus said should help: that pain is neither unbearable nor unending, as long as you keep in mind it's limits and don't magnify them in your imagination. And keep in mind too that pain often comes in disguise as drowsiness, fever, loss of appetite.... When you're bothered by things like that, remind yourself: "I'm giving in to pain.""
So there it is, the sleepiness. The desire to stay in bed, it is now free of it's disguise. And so I must act accordingly. To say to myself that I am too tired is a lie. It should instead be "I am in too much pain!". To say this is to expose just exactly how weak I am and how little pain I can tolerate. So today is the day I mark my resilience. Today I push through my pain and learn to be at peace with it. I am more than the pain of sleepiness. It is bearable. I am not giving in to it any longer. But, I must realize that this type of pain is one I endure of my hand. The late nights for no reason. These must stop, when the body needs rest give it the rest then wake as nature intended.